And there in the midst of it all she stood…an jhola hanging precariously on the shoulder as if to stop itself from dropping into the already accumulated mass of brownish water – a combination of rain water, drain water, petrol and all the accumulated filth from the cars that had mixed merrily with the water. Her salwar suit could be seen only up to the thighs as the rest of it was under the water and the precariously rising water level leaving none of her basics in a condition fit enough to sit and work through the day.
Suddenly…she feels a faint something around her left…or was it right foot…the slipper….Shit! It had given away under the strong force the water was creating thanks to all the passing vehicles creating considerable ripples in the water…Where the hell was the mobile? Oh there it was in her hand, safe from the rains…how something gets more precious than dear life! As if by instinct, she parted with her other pair of slipper rather gleefully…it was going to rain through the day in any case…so her bare feet would not be visible anyway…merrily back to her childhood days, she walked towards the bus stop where another one of my jewels, was standing drenched, with a umbrella open…standing right below a shade!!!
The wetness of her entire combination of garments was bad enough and to top it all…no smokes on the stairs today…The BOSS hates women smoking! And he’s here for a trip of the centre! It all had to happen today??? But there certainly had to be a way out…And yes…WHERE THERE’S A WILL THERE’S MOST CERTAINLY A WAY! The last time she had perhaps tried this was in college…and now once again a mature individual she had to….what crap!!!! She came up to me and said… “Jabe?”
“Kothay? Aaj to curfew…”
“Jayga ache…bathroom” she said with a huge grin…
I followed her to one spare bathroom which was not used thanks to the broken commode but was pretty clean and thankfully with no water spilled on the floors…entering the bathroom together was funny enough…topped by the way we squatted on the bathroom floor for a simple smoke!!!!!!! Bliss…The bathroom full of smoke and the commode full of ashes…we came out…there were two more trips to the coveted destination before the day ended.
And it had stopped raining…and so she trudged home in bare feet…that is her…
One of my treasures at work!!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
It Happened One Night - Chapter 4
The rains always disturbed Shalini but tonight her discomfort knew no bounds. It was raining that night too and that was one of the things that triggered off a chain of events that engraved itself in such a way on her heart that she could not mend it! Why did it all happen? Why did Nikhil lose his reserve? Why did he not remain like before? And if he did then why did he revert back to his usual self again? Why did he initiate a tie he was waiting to break at the earliest?
In fact he had talked about Niharika, quite a number of times but a love struck Shalini just took it to be another one of his usual flings! If only she had been able to guess the seriousness that everybody else noticed in Nikhil about that damsel! And the funniest part was that she couldn’t talk about her longing for Nikhil to anyone else but Preeti, not even Uday who was her closest friend. How she wished she could, for once, know what that man felt…that is if he did at all! He could not be so insensitive not to have any feelings for her – after all, those drunken stupors could not be absolute pretentions! It appalled Shalini to think about how a person as practical and sensible as her could fall in such a stupid trap! It shamed her to realize that how she had cheated on Ankit, who loved her undoubtedly. Ironically, she too was, infact still is, madly in love with Ankit! Yes, their relation is a beautiful one ready to bloom into marriage and yet she had not been completely faithful. She laughed to herself – hadn’t someone once said that, ‘It is the faithless who know love’s tragedies’.
The rains continued – not a soul awake at this hour and the rains seem extra torturous owing to the unearthly silence. Shalini could suddenly feel moisture on her hot cheeks and she realized that oblivious to her two drops of tear had escaped from her long dried up eyes, moistening her world like the rains outside that were rescuing the perched earth! She wanted to cry…cry till she could cry no more…cry till Nikhil sails out of her eyes, her heart, her life…forever!!! She had betrayed – Ankit, Nikhil and Herself! But who lost in this entire gamble? None other than SHALINI NAYYAR – Where is Nikhil now? Somewhere in the midst of one of the vast oceans in the safety of a huge ship immersed in thoughts of a certain Niharika Chowdhury! Where is Ankit? Asleep in his bed, content with Shalini’s love and devotion and all that life has to offer to him! Where is Shalini now? In the midst of everything, apparently happy, with a hollow feeling, named Nikhil, in her heart, otherwise occupied by Ankit!
In fact he had talked about Niharika, quite a number of times but a love struck Shalini just took it to be another one of his usual flings! If only she had been able to guess the seriousness that everybody else noticed in Nikhil about that damsel! And the funniest part was that she couldn’t talk about her longing for Nikhil to anyone else but Preeti, not even Uday who was her closest friend. How she wished she could, for once, know what that man felt…that is if he did at all! He could not be so insensitive not to have any feelings for her – after all, those drunken stupors could not be absolute pretentions! It appalled Shalini to think about how a person as practical and sensible as her could fall in such a stupid trap! It shamed her to realize that how she had cheated on Ankit, who loved her undoubtedly. Ironically, she too was, infact still is, madly in love with Ankit! Yes, their relation is a beautiful one ready to bloom into marriage and yet she had not been completely faithful. She laughed to herself – hadn’t someone once said that, ‘It is the faithless who know love’s tragedies’.
The rains continued – not a soul awake at this hour and the rains seem extra torturous owing to the unearthly silence. Shalini could suddenly feel moisture on her hot cheeks and she realized that oblivious to her two drops of tear had escaped from her long dried up eyes, moistening her world like the rains outside that were rescuing the perched earth! She wanted to cry…cry till she could cry no more…cry till Nikhil sails out of her eyes, her heart, her life…forever!!! She had betrayed – Ankit, Nikhil and Herself! But who lost in this entire gamble? None other than SHALINI NAYYAR – Where is Nikhil now? Somewhere in the midst of one of the vast oceans in the safety of a huge ship immersed in thoughts of a certain Niharika Chowdhury! Where is Ankit? Asleep in his bed, content with Shalini’s love and devotion and all that life has to offer to him! Where is Shalini now? In the midst of everything, apparently happy, with a hollow feeling, named Nikhil, in her heart, otherwise occupied by Ankit!
It Happened One Night - Chapter 3
Uday had a half furnished apartment that served as a halt every time they had a night out and the one thing it had in ample was drinks. Out came 6 glasses and a huge bottle of Vodka but for some strange reason Nikhil decided against it that night, surprising everybody. Instead he kept on switching channels till a little tipsy Shalini almost ordered him to freeze on one particular channel that was playing her favourite song. Shit, this woman just has to make things so difficult for me; Nikhil scolded himself for gradually losing his reserve. And unaware of everybody else the two confused souls saw a video that was absolutely meaning less and at the same time made some strange and unrequited meaning –
…’Then I go and spoil it all by
Saying something stupid like I Love You’…
Love was a stupid thing and Nikhil had absolutely nothing to do with that, nothing at any cost, then why the hell was he feeling funny at the proximity this plain girl was offering. He couldn’t quite understand how one could feel so different with her, when from a year back all he remembered of her were a pair of big, brown eyes. The occasional mails were a formality but at that moment Nikhil could not read his own mind that could be such a botheration at times. Why the hell does this woman need to be the way she was at that moment? She gave a hoot to the world and exuded a warmth that could soften the hardest of icebergs. Slightly tipsy by then and free of all her inhibitions Nikhil could almost compare Shalini to a mermaid, which he sincerely believed to exist. She had shed all the curtains and was now on her own exploring the new depths of this vast ocean.
He had wanted to stay as far as possible from this mystery called Shalini but he could feel that he could not quite help himself in spite of all his effort. Instinctively and as if driven by some magnetic force he was finding himself next to her from time to time.
‘Why the hell are you looking at me as I I’ve just descended from some other planet. I’ve been noticing this throughout the evening…well almost!” enquired Shalini in a slightly slurred voice. What could he say to that? He knew that Shalini understood how he felt about her a year back, how could he now tell her that he felt differently. In only a span of 5/6 hours feelings don’t change – specially for Nikhil. So he decided to ignore the question that actually intrigued him. Why was he staring at her? Had she become so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off her or was he just trying to find what had transformed her? Or was he simply trying to gauge the reasons for his own persistent discomfort through the entire length of the evening?
Everything irritated him – Why the hell did Uday suggest coming there? Why the hell did he agree to come when the last 3 hours before that had been equally uncomfortable for him? Why the hell was she there, then? Even Preeti was there! He suddenly realized that over the entire evening the existence of this ‘Transformation Personified’ had made him so conscious that he had hardly considered the presence of anybody else. He wanted to leave that moment but couldn’t – he knew he was in for trouble.
…’Then I go and spoil it all by
Saying something stupid like I Love You’…
Love was a stupid thing and Nikhil had absolutely nothing to do with that, nothing at any cost, then why the hell was he feeling funny at the proximity this plain girl was offering. He couldn’t quite understand how one could feel so different with her, when from a year back all he remembered of her were a pair of big, brown eyes. The occasional mails were a formality but at that moment Nikhil could not read his own mind that could be such a botheration at times. Why the hell does this woman need to be the way she was at that moment? She gave a hoot to the world and exuded a warmth that could soften the hardest of icebergs. Slightly tipsy by then and free of all her inhibitions Nikhil could almost compare Shalini to a mermaid, which he sincerely believed to exist. She had shed all the curtains and was now on her own exploring the new depths of this vast ocean.
He had wanted to stay as far as possible from this mystery called Shalini but he could feel that he could not quite help himself in spite of all his effort. Instinctively and as if driven by some magnetic force he was finding himself next to her from time to time.
‘Why the hell are you looking at me as I I’ve just descended from some other planet. I’ve been noticing this throughout the evening…well almost!” enquired Shalini in a slightly slurred voice. What could he say to that? He knew that Shalini understood how he felt about her a year back, how could he now tell her that he felt differently. In only a span of 5/6 hours feelings don’t change – specially for Nikhil. So he decided to ignore the question that actually intrigued him. Why was he staring at her? Had she become so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off her or was he just trying to find what had transformed her? Or was he simply trying to gauge the reasons for his own persistent discomfort through the entire length of the evening?
Everything irritated him – Why the hell did Uday suggest coming there? Why the hell did he agree to come when the last 3 hours before that had been equally uncomfortable for him? Why the hell was she there, then? Even Preeti was there! He suddenly realized that over the entire evening the existence of this ‘Transformation Personified’ had made him so conscious that he had hardly considered the presence of anybody else. He wanted to leave that moment but couldn’t – he knew he was in for trouble.
It Happened One Night - Chapter 2
This just could not be TRUE! Is it just a co-incidence that the two books she manage to lay her hands on recently had to have a character by that name? NIKHIL! Everything was fine till Taslima ended up at that name! Couldn’t there be another name for Swami Nityanand born from the pen of the great Jayabrato Chatterjee? Shalini almost swore at herself for walking down the roads she had promised never to travel again. She had left that city forever, never to go back again-never, for it would drain her a bit too much to see that man in front of his eyes and pretend as if nothing had changed, specially with that lady by his side. She was human after all!
Eight months after that night that changed a certain part of her life forever- she could still see him. Desire burning bright in his dead fish eyes, the look said it all and did the trick most miraculously yet predictably. Some insane stupidity took over Shalini to rekindle her feelings for this man who had no clue about what was going on in her mind and neither did he care. If only she could turn back time and extinguish the blazing inferno that charred her mind and crippled a part of her- forever! And as always she found herself licking on her wounds all alone. She felt horribly small, horribly weak but this was an uncontrollable urge.
Shalini had heard people say that eyes always speak the truth – how desperately she had tried to find anything but raw desire in them that night! And when they kissed, she noticed that his eyes were closed- CLOSED EYES! Then for a moment it had been sufficient to light a million candles all around her – she believed all that she read in Mills & Boon novels – closed eyes during a passionate moment have always implied LOVE! Well, she was sure even then that he couldn’t possibly be in love with her. But a part of her insisted on behaving like a love struck naïve teenager, hanging on desperately to the little things he were murmuring in throes of passion.
She could still feel his touch exploring her undiscovered depths and gradually taking her closer to heaven. There was no intoxication to dull his senses that she had thought of using as a rational explanation of his strange behaviour. Everything was as mundane, as ordinary as any other day, except for the very special union of souls that had an almost meteoric collision and quite predictably left back shattered remnants. Only 1 of them was too strong to leave back any shattered remains –Thought Shalini bitterly. She couldn’t till date come to any conclusion about whether he deserved hatred, dislike or mere indifference for being what he was, for a single night and then strangely for a few more inebriant occasions. But one thing was certain- he still made a difference, and managed to cause an unwanted stir in the beautifully settled life that Shalini had so carefully built.
It was raining outside – as if the Gods, angry at the earth, were lashing out their tongues filled with venom. It reminded Shalini of the mail that had shaken her delicate world of impossible dreams – Nikhil had spewed venom at her in almost the same way for feeling for him! And she could not hate him, Yet she could not forget those innocent expressions that became even more childish when he got high, Yet she could not forget those rare moments of false togetherness, Yet she could not forget the man who blamed her for seducing him that night when he himself knew better than anyone else how true his allegations were. Yet she could not forget NIKHIL!
Eight months after that night that changed a certain part of her life forever- she could still see him. Desire burning bright in his dead fish eyes, the look said it all and did the trick most miraculously yet predictably. Some insane stupidity took over Shalini to rekindle her feelings for this man who had no clue about what was going on in her mind and neither did he care. If only she could turn back time and extinguish the blazing inferno that charred her mind and crippled a part of her- forever! And as always she found herself licking on her wounds all alone. She felt horribly small, horribly weak but this was an uncontrollable urge.
Shalini had heard people say that eyes always speak the truth – how desperately she had tried to find anything but raw desire in them that night! And when they kissed, she noticed that his eyes were closed- CLOSED EYES! Then for a moment it had been sufficient to light a million candles all around her – she believed all that she read in Mills & Boon novels – closed eyes during a passionate moment have always implied LOVE! Well, she was sure even then that he couldn’t possibly be in love with her. But a part of her insisted on behaving like a love struck naïve teenager, hanging on desperately to the little things he were murmuring in throes of passion.
She could still feel his touch exploring her undiscovered depths and gradually taking her closer to heaven. There was no intoxication to dull his senses that she had thought of using as a rational explanation of his strange behaviour. Everything was as mundane, as ordinary as any other day, except for the very special union of souls that had an almost meteoric collision and quite predictably left back shattered remnants. Only 1 of them was too strong to leave back any shattered remains –Thought Shalini bitterly. She couldn’t till date come to any conclusion about whether he deserved hatred, dislike or mere indifference for being what he was, for a single night and then strangely for a few more inebriant occasions. But one thing was certain- he still made a difference, and managed to cause an unwanted stir in the beautifully settled life that Shalini had so carefully built.
It was raining outside – as if the Gods, angry at the earth, were lashing out their tongues filled with venom. It reminded Shalini of the mail that had shaken her delicate world of impossible dreams – Nikhil had spewed venom at her in almost the same way for feeling for him! And she could not hate him, Yet she could not forget those innocent expressions that became even more childish when he got high, Yet she could not forget those rare moments of false togetherness, Yet she could not forget the man who blamed her for seducing him that night when he himself knew better than anyone else how true his allegations were. Yet she could not forget NIKHIL!
It Happened One Night - Chapter 1
“You look so very different,” beamed Nikhil with a rare twinkle in his otherwise expressionless eyes. Is this the same woman he had seen almost a year back, he wondered? Certainly not with those well-defined brows that accentuated the inebriant effect of the big, brown eyes – the only attractive thing he ever found in the otherwise plain face. He now noticed a strange glow that enamoured him momentarily as their cheeks brushed past in a most ordinary embrace. For once he almost jumped at the invitation from those fair, warm arms that had never interested him before.
Shalini couldn’t stop smiling at this unusual appreciation in Nikhil’s eyes, especially the obvious desire that was flickering in them without his knowing it. A woman’s eyes can hardly read that wrong. “Do I”? She retorted. “Well, from what I remember of you- you haven’t. Not an inch!”
“In that case you certainly seem to have forgotten how I looked. I have…”
“A little paunch now, that wasn’t there before- probably a result of too much of studies and overdrinking without any sea breeze to keep you going! And your eyes…they do seem to have acquired a little more life…Nikhil, I don’t forget things so easily or so soon.” The last part was a last minute addition smeared with a smile, thanks to the flustered look on his face. It surprised him how someone as stupid as Shalini almost read his mind! He gave a full-throated laugh to change the situation and it worked somehow. His mind however denied any other thoughts while he kept on noticing the little changes that almost transformed her from as simple duckling to a gorgeous swan. Nikhil smiled to himself at this rather unusual comparison – a sailor from the very heart- how could he move too far away from the water!
“Hi sweetheart, looking very pretty today,” quipped Vikas, quickly taking her side,” but then you always do”!
“Stop flirting, Vikas. You know that it is easy to understand when you mean things and when you don’t” Shalini smiled.
“ That’s the problem, you never take me seriously,” said Vikas in mock anger. “ By the way, you know Uday don’t you? Hey, where’s Preeti by the way?”
“Preeti’s on her way and NO, I haven’t had the fortune of getting introduced though I’ve heard a lot ‘bout him – Hi Uday, am Shalini…”
5 minutes after this 2 engines roared up as a flock of youth raced towards the nearest movie hall for the most recent horror flick.
Throughout the movie, Nikhil could hardly concentrate on anything but the surprise that by some stroke of luck was sitting right next to him. And every time their hands brushed or she involuntarily gave him look or smile his steely reserve
seemed to weaken a bit. Back in the car on the way back who would sit next to him but Shalini. ‘How can one drive like this’ he muttered to himself as he put his car on the third gear. Out on the main road suddenly Uday’s green Indica swerved from behind blocking his way. Screeching to a halt, he enquired about what made them stop in the middle of nowhere in particular at that unearthly hour.
Apparently Uday, along with the ‘Gang’ had decided a ‘Nite out” at his apartment and so the ones in the other car needed to be intimidated about the change in plans. So instead of the usual stop in front of the Institute they would have to go further ahead towards Navi Mumbai. For a second Nikhil was stunned at this sudden twist of fate, then it made him slightly irritated. And to top it all he could hardly understand the actual reasons for his mood swings. Vinay slept on at the back seat while oblivious to and unmoved by all these Shalini hummed on along with Shania Twain,
“Looks like we’ve made it,
Look how far we’ve come, my baby…”
Shalini couldn’t stop smiling at this unusual appreciation in Nikhil’s eyes, especially the obvious desire that was flickering in them without his knowing it. A woman’s eyes can hardly read that wrong. “Do I”? She retorted. “Well, from what I remember of you- you haven’t. Not an inch!”
“In that case you certainly seem to have forgotten how I looked. I have…”
“A little paunch now, that wasn’t there before- probably a result of too much of studies and overdrinking without any sea breeze to keep you going! And your eyes…they do seem to have acquired a little more life…Nikhil, I don’t forget things so easily or so soon.” The last part was a last minute addition smeared with a smile, thanks to the flustered look on his face. It surprised him how someone as stupid as Shalini almost read his mind! He gave a full-throated laugh to change the situation and it worked somehow. His mind however denied any other thoughts while he kept on noticing the little changes that almost transformed her from as simple duckling to a gorgeous swan. Nikhil smiled to himself at this rather unusual comparison – a sailor from the very heart- how could he move too far away from the water!
“Hi sweetheart, looking very pretty today,” quipped Vikas, quickly taking her side,” but then you always do”!
“Stop flirting, Vikas. You know that it is easy to understand when you mean things and when you don’t” Shalini smiled.
“ That’s the problem, you never take me seriously,” said Vikas in mock anger. “ By the way, you know Uday don’t you? Hey, where’s Preeti by the way?”
“Preeti’s on her way and NO, I haven’t had the fortune of getting introduced though I’ve heard a lot ‘bout him – Hi Uday, am Shalini…”
5 minutes after this 2 engines roared up as a flock of youth raced towards the nearest movie hall for the most recent horror flick.
Throughout the movie, Nikhil could hardly concentrate on anything but the surprise that by some stroke of luck was sitting right next to him. And every time their hands brushed or she involuntarily gave him look or smile his steely reserve
seemed to weaken a bit. Back in the car on the way back who would sit next to him but Shalini. ‘How can one drive like this’ he muttered to himself as he put his car on the third gear. Out on the main road suddenly Uday’s green Indica swerved from behind blocking his way. Screeching to a halt, he enquired about what made them stop in the middle of nowhere in particular at that unearthly hour.
Apparently Uday, along with the ‘Gang’ had decided a ‘Nite out” at his apartment and so the ones in the other car needed to be intimidated about the change in plans. So instead of the usual stop in front of the Institute they would have to go further ahead towards Navi Mumbai. For a second Nikhil was stunned at this sudden twist of fate, then it made him slightly irritated. And to top it all he could hardly understand the actual reasons for his mood swings. Vinay slept on at the back seat while oblivious to and unmoved by all these Shalini hummed on along with Shania Twain,
“Looks like we’ve made it,
Look how far we’ve come, my baby…”
Monday, June 18, 2007
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